Stoic Tears
by Obsessive Kitten
Summary: [Wakka X Lulu] At the shore of Djose, after the attack by Sin, Wakka and Lulu share a moment, however brief.


"Yuna! Tidus! Auron! Kimahri! ...Lulu!" Wakka, the red headed blitz player, shouted into the wind. He had been thrown off of his feet by the attack of Sin on the Djose shore. Not much was he able to remember, only that the Crusaders had used the forbidden machina to try and defeat Sin, and that they had failed miserably. Just as he'd known they would. Why try and fight what only the summoners could? It was just a waste, Wakka thought. Dusk was creeping upon the land, setting an unforgiving red tint to the already bloody shores. Bodies of the valiant lay strewn at Wakka's feet. Mangled men lay everywhere; some with legs torn from their bodies or torsos crushed by some random heavy object. Everywhere Wakka placed his sable eyes, he saw destruction.  
  
A gasp left his body at the realization that he may never see his comrades again. Yuna, with her stubborn yet helpful determination; Lulu with her wise insight; Auron with his firm guidance; Kimahri's bravery and Tidus' optimism. Images of each of them floated quickly through his mind. He saw Yuna holding a little stuffed bear as she wandered out into the streets of Besaid at the calls of the others celebrating the Calm. And then now, she was nearly grown...and she had started her own pilgrimage. And even though what lay at the end for her was inevitable, Wakka vowed to himself to guard her as best he could the rest of the way.  
  
Auron and Tidus flashed briefly through his mind, perhaps because he's not known them for too long, or he didn't know too much about them. He decided on a mixture of both. Then came Kimahri, who, even since his arrival to Besaid had only spoken a few words to him the entire time. Wakka then thought of the other Ronso and what they might possibly have against Kimahri.  
  
But Lulu... she was different. Her image lay in his mind for much longer than the others' had. Her entire attitude had been nearly nothing but hostile since the beginning of the pilgrimage, since Tidus had shown up, really. But, he knew Lulu before she was so cold and distant. Yes, she was a little grumpy, but nothing compared to how she is now. Wakka thought back on the tall, graceful dark-haired woman and smiled. All he's wanted to do was make her happy. And hey, if he couldn't do it, maybe someone else could, ya? But that plan had backfired in his face, only making Lulu more spiteful than ever.  
  
But maybe.... He never got a chance to finish that thought before he heard a low, moaning cry. It was the cry of a woman. He snapped back into reality and set his focus once more on the crimson sands. Not more than thirty feet away lay a woman, Lulu, in fact. His heart caught in his throat as he looked upon the depressing lump. He could see no breaths being taken, and he feared the worst. Wakka sprinted as fast as he could to the black mage, holding back tears all the way.  
  
"Lulu!" He hesitated before calling her name again once he'd reached her side. Her featured were tortured yet serene at the same time. Her mouth was drawn up in what seemed to have been a look of terror, but her eyes, which were closed of course, were perfectly normal. "Lulu..." Wakka whispered her name as he put his head to her chest to listen for a heartbeat. The faint beats sent fire through his veins, giving him a new reason to hope. She was still alive. She wasn't breathing, though. Wakka knew the proper procedures for CPR, and he didn't hesitate to perform the life-saving act. He closed off Lulu's nostrils and opened her mouth, pressing his own onto hers. He blew into her lungs and then pumped his palms on her chest firmly but carefully. After a few repeats of this exercise and many prayers by Wakka to Yevon, Lulu opened her ruby eyes, which had dulled to more of a dark cherry hue.  
  
"Thank Yevon!" Wakka said, lifting his hands from her chest and his mouth from hers to embrace her, pulling her up nearly completely off of the sand. "Are ya okay? Does anythin' hurt, Lu?" He asked quickly as he laid her softly back down onto the shore. Wakka's eyes met hers and he smiled, urging her to speak. To prove to him that she was okay, so that he could breathe again.  
  
Lulu coughed without energy, and a little water trickled from the side of her mouth. The first thing her eyes focused on was Wakka's slightly purple lips. At first she was cross; she'd thought he'd taken advantage of her, but then she quickly came to her senses and realized that he'd saved her. Her ears pricked as his tropically dipped tenor voice cascaded over her. She noted that she was soaking wet and shivering, as well. "I'm a little cold," she stated plainly as she tried to sit up, and to her misfortune was cast quickly back down by dizziness. She saw him smile and was almost tempted to do so herself. Almost.  
  
"Lu, I'm glad you're okay, ya? I was really worried when I saw you lying on the ground like that." Wakka pulled her upper body up to his in another hug, but played it off as though he was helping her to sit. It obviously worked; Lulu didn't try to push him off of her or squirm away. She simply allowed herself to be held as she shivered and her bangs let small water droplets fall onto Wakka's yellow lap.  
  
"Where's Yuna?" Lulu asked, her voice showing fear at the thought of having lost her summoner. She wanted to rise to look for Yuna, but her body was too tired, and Wakka was just too comfortable. His warm chest cradled her head so well, his strong tanned arms held her perfectly around her thin waist. His hands traveled cautiously to her thighs, rubbing them gently. 'I haven't felt this comfortable since Chappu...NO!' she screamed in her mind. 'Wakka is NOT Chappu! Why am I letting him touch me? I'm only going to get hurt...' Lulu's conscience whispered to her mind, telling it that this was wrong and that she shouldn't be doing this. Wakka was Chappu's brother! She knew this was wrong, but it felt so good and so right. But in the end her mind won and she pushed his hands from her thighs a bit rougher than she'd meant. Tears welled in her ruby eyes, giving them a flattering sparkle. She suppressed them with a blink, as she always did, and spoke, her voice harsh. "Wakka, don't. You aren't Chappu."  
  
Wakka pulled back and looked into her eyes; both of them for once were visible. His heart sank clearly into his stomach. He forced a smile, though all he wanted to do was cry. He'd been told the same thing before many times. Why couldn't she just give it a try? Why must she be so introverted and harsh? 'But you'll keep trying.' Wakka's conscience told him, and he knew it was true. He'd keep trying to win her over until his heart just couldn't take the rejection any more. 'I'll always be there for her. She'll love me. She'll just have to love me, one day. So I'll keep trying until she does.' "I know, Lulu. He could make you happy." Wakka feigned cheer.  
  
Lulu could see right through his shield, and she was ashamed of herself for being so cruel to him. But she just couldn't bring herself to love again. She couldn't bear another heartbreak. She broke away from him completely, the chilly wind biting her skin as she stood. Her dress felt like it weighed a ton, mostly because her legs were weak, but also because it was wet. She heard him call out something to her as she walked, with difficulty, away from the painful scene. Her feet fumbled over the mangled corpses that littered the sand, and twice she fell. She quickly got up before Wakka could help her up, not wanting to have to look at him. Not so soon.  
  
"Yevon, Lulu! Be more careful, ya?" Wakka said, having easily caught up with her after her third fall. He stood her up by her shoulders and looked into her eyes. What he gazed upon nearly tore his heart right out of his tanned chest. She was crying. Lulu, the stern, thoughtful, stoic black mage, was crying. He saw her close her eyes as she succumbed to the tears, letting herself literally fall into his arms. Her hands lie in clenched fists at his chest, her head on his shoulder. He tried to make out the words she spoke, but they were inaudible. After a few more minutes, the sun had all but set, and the oranges and reds had left the Djose area. Dark blues surrounded the pair as the stars began to peek out of their sleeping places. A strong wind picked up and blew the heavy clouds aside, letting half of the moon cast its silvery light down upon the forsaken ground. Wakka felt Lulu shiver in his arms, and then fall still and silent. He shook her gently. "You okay, Lu?" He was surprised at his own voiced. It was softer and lovelier than he'd thought his voice could be. She seemed to take notice of this too; her head bobbed up and down on his shoulder.  
  
"No. Wakka, I'm not okay. I can't understand myself anymore. I love Chappu, but I..... I think I have feelings for you, too." She croaked out, her voice rough and ragged from the previous exertion. She felt a rough hand under her chin trying to lift her face, but she broke away from it, not wanting to look Wakka in the eye. She was too ashamed of herself.  
  
"Lulu, look at me?" When Wakka saw that she wouldn't lift her head, he spoke on anyway pretending as though she had. "Lulu, you don't have to understand it, ya? You think I understand it? I don't. I just know what I feel. I love you, Lu. And if you don't love me, then okay. I'm okay being a friend. But if you do love me, then please don't let the reason that you won't show it be Chappu. He only wanted you happy, you know?" He kissed her cheek, and he felt her recoil sharply, but he didn't let her go.  
  
"Wakka, don't do this to me. Don't make me choose." Lulu said, her face cast downward. She felt another wave of sobs rush to her reddened face, as well as a deep sickening feeling.  
  
"Lulu, I'm going to tell you what you been tellin' me: Chappu's dead. Nothin' can change that, ya? You've been tellin' me to move on. So I have, as best I can. Now it's time for you to move on. Remember him always, but don't miss out on life." Wakka stood silently, awaiting some kind of a response. He waited for a minute, then two. Finally after three minutes, he prompted her to speak, or even just move.  
  
She caught him by complete surprise with a soft, lingering kiss. She stood on her tiptoes because even though she was tall, Wakka was still much taller. Her arms lay at rest on his shoulders, her wet sleeves falling on his bare chest. Lulu felt herself being lifted from the ground as Wakka wrapped his arms around her protectively; firm but gently. Before he'd realized it, he'd lifted her off of the ground completely. Lulu was the first to break away, and she cast her gaze elsewhere, her cheeks a bright red.  
  
"I think I hear someone." She whispered to Wakka, who immediately put her down. He wasn't ashamed of being with her, but he didn't want her embarrassed on his part.  
  
"I saw it, you don't have to hide." A deep, raspy voice called from the shadows. Out stepped Auron, his katana resting on his shoulder as usual. His body and clothes were droopier than usual, which showed he'd probably been through a similar ordeal to Lulu's. He slid the massive blade off of his shoulder and let the point stab into the ground. "I was looking for you. Must say I didn't expect that, though." He snickered lightly.  
  
"It was nothing." Lulu snapped, but her face told a different story. Even in the moonlight, it was plain to see that she was blushing, and also that she was trying her best to keep a straight face, to go back to the regular Lulu.  
  
"Your face tells me differently." Auron said simply, smirking at his wit and ability to read people. A long silence ensued, the three of them standing under the moonlight, one shivering and uncomfortable, all grinning.  
  
Wakka decided he needed to break the uneasy silence. "Well, Lulu's cod, we need to get her warm by a campfire. Hey, Auron, you seen Yuna, Kimahri or Tidus?"  
  
Kimahri spoke up and stepped out from behind a rock. "Kimahri here." He chuckled, which was amazing for him. "Kimahri saw whole thing."  
  
Lulu snapped back at them all, "You didn't see anything! We have to go find Yuna and Tidus now!" And with that she set off at a brisk pace for the cliff that overlooked the sea; the same spot where they had all been when Sin attacked. She figured she'd start there.  
  
The three men that were left behind in her wake exchanged glances. One by one they followed. Kimahri was first, Wakka second, and Auron was left to take up the rear.  
  
[One shot, probably. I was just bored and I decided to write a Wakka X Lulu FanFic. I tried to keep the characters IN character, but I don't know how well I did so. Hope you enjoyed it, anyway. ^_^ R/R please! Constructive criticism WANTED!) 


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